Tender Mercies

I will admit it her and now. I am oversensitive. It hurts my feelings when people don't include me or when I feel left out. Call me a little kid... I am o.k. It is how I am. There are blessings though that come with this. I can look at a crowd of people and see who is feeling a bit left out and my heart goes out to them. I tend to be the one who is sitting with those people rather than the group of friends who already have each other and can't always seem to see beyond their little circle.

But it at times still hurts. Today I hurt. I think I hurt for a couple of reasons. 1. I think I still get sad because it is not looking like I will have the experience of sending a son on a mission. Dont' misunderstand me, I have a wonderful son. He is intelligent, wise for his years, and very tender hearted. He attends BYU and is doing well. I am very proud of him. At times though I am sad I will miss that experience.

Because of this I enjoy hearing about other sons who are on missions or who are getting ready to leave. But not everyone is willing to share, and sometimes I am just too afraid of asking, for fear of being rejected. In the last month I have found myself feeling rather sad twice. Sad that I wasn't included in the lives of someone I wished I was.

And then the tender mercy of the Lord. Each day a graduated student of mine showed up to visit and talk about his preparations for his mission, his girlfriend, family and all else.

All I can say is that the Lord does know us. And many many times he sends us tender mercies. Look for them...they are there.

Later....

Christ's love

My thoughts are very personal....so to share them with whomever chooses to read this is very hard for me. Maybe it is just a mute point, because I am not sure anyone really reads it anyway. But here goes.

Christmas is here and I have been thinking a lot on ways that I can become more Christ like. I think often of my experiences and my life and try to understand them. I believe very strongly that we are supposed to become more Christ-like. Unfortunately for me this has sometimes resulted in me beating myself up. The question is what do we do? Improve and try hard to change (which I feel requires some self evaluation and some honesty and humility) and yet at the same time, not beat ourselves up over the imperfections we will most definitly see.

This leads me to my life. My experiences that have taught me how to act and behave. It seemed common to me to feel punished for my transgressions. Punishments come in many forms. IN Psychology I teach that there are two different types of punishment. Positive and Negative. Positive punishment is the application of a negative consequence because of behavior, Negative is the removal of a positive action in response to behavior. For example, yelling at someone, or spanking a child, or giving extra chores is a type of positive punishment. Negative punishment would be taking away a priviledge, love, or even attention.

The interesting thing is that most people view positive punishment as being the most negative when in reality it has been discovered that negative punishment truly is the most negative.

I have to admit that I have been on both sides of this, as I think most of us have. But, I wonder. If we are to become more like Christ...

Anyway, My thoughts are tender on this point. I feel that expressing too much would be very hypocritical of me, since I know that I have not only been hurt by the "punishment" of others I have also hurt many by "punishing" them.

What I do want to say is that anytime I have been on the receiving end I have hurt terribly, and any time I have been on the giving end of either positive or negative punishment for too long of a time...I have felt my spirit draw further away from my Savior.

May we find the ability and strength this Christmas season to become more as Christ. To love as He does. To Forgive as He does. Merry Christmas to all.