family Happenings

Changes

Wow! The changes have come in large amounts. It is strange. I am not longer teaching school, Lizzy is attending the public Jr. High as a ninth grader, and my older two kids are well, growing up.

So, What have a learned? First, I am just not that great of a stay at home mom. I have few skills. I don't sew, can, cook elaborate meals each day after planning it out precisely and finally I am not very good at blogging and stuff. Some days I find myself alone in the house and think...Now what?

But then I remember who I am. I actually am a pretty awesome person. I love people. I love to help people. I love being a mom. I am enjoying seeing my daughter in the mornings before school and my other daughter before work. I enjoy being here when they get home, and I enjoy just hanging out with them. I enjoy tutoring a couple kids in the afternoons and evenings. I enjoy a little bit cleaner house than usual. I enjoy learning new things and trying new things.

Am I wonder woman? Am I even close to the perfection of my neighbor? NO...but hey, I still think I am doing pretty well.

For me anyway,

Later

Our new additions....

I thougth babies were no more in my house..WRONG. Thanks Stella for helping me out. What a great Mom you are.

So here they are...three pups. Two girls...One boy...

The Black and White one is the boy...

Spring is in the air

I love Spring. I love watching plants come back to life, bigger and better than before. I love watching the new bulb plants poke through the dirt. I love the leaves on trees...go green! I love spring.

I love that school is close to ending for the summer. I love to mow the lawn, plant my garden, sit outside in the sun...I love it all.

YEA for Spring.

Happy Birthday Kevin

This is a picture of my son's last birthday here on this earth. Nine months to the day after this picture was taken he went to live with his Heavenly Father. A mother's love for a son is eternal and my heart continues to ache for him. I wish I could hold him, talk to him, see him.

If he were still here he would be 16 years of age on the 24th. Sometimes when I miss him I try to close my eyes and picture him as he might be. I never can. All I can ever see is his face at this time of his life.

He was such a sweet boy. I remember one day in first grade it was another student's birthday. That student gave each student in the class a balloon. After school as we were getting in the car a little girl from his class lost her balloon. Kevin looked at me and without saying a word walked over to her and gave her his balloon. That was just who he was...always worried and concerned of how others were feeling.

He was always curious about the world and everything around him. He loved soccer and enjoyed being with his friends. He had the most faith of all of us and during the early fall, only weeks before he passed away, we would take him for walks around the neighborhood. He was too weak to walk himself and so we pushed him in a large stroller (red...he picked out the color). He would look at the mountains and ask if next summer we could do more up in the mountains. He loved the mountains. He would ask if we would please sign him up for spring soccer. Each conversation broke my heart as I promised him things I knew would never be. He died October 24th.

Few can understand the sorrow that occurs when a mother loses a child. In fact I truly do not think you can understand unless you have experienced it. It is an experience I wouldn't wish upon anyone.

Sometimes after his death I would watch a mother yell at her child or ignore them or read an article of children being neglected and think, "why don't they get it...I would give anything for 5 minutes with my son, and those 5 minutes would be all about him"

I learned a lot during his illness. I learned that sometimes housework and projects I might have just don't matter when a child needs you. I have often walked past a load of laundry or a wet paint brush to take care of a child. I also try hard to involve my children (and others...anyone who will loan me one) in what ever I am doing. I often have kids helping me clcean, make things in the kitchen, and such.

I am so grateful for the lessons I have learned by this experience and yet still wish I could see how things might be today with a 16 year old boy again.

Happy Birthday my little Kevin. You are missed.

Horses of course

I made John stop on the side of the road so I could feed and pet some horses. I guess I still like those farm animals. Just a city girl's dream.