School is finally out for me. I am glad and yet a bit worried at the same time. I do not always do well when I have time that I have to decide what I am going to do with. I like to have someone or a schedule tell me regularly what I need to do. When it is up to me, I have a tendency to start off great in the morning, but my midday, I am wasting time. What ever that means. I like my life to be run on bells (as in school) it is easier and quite frankly requires little self discipline. I so admire those mothers who stay home and just accomplish one thing after another.
Am I a failure?
I sent an email today to a friend. In response I got the demon telling me that the email was not successfully sent...that it had failed permanently. That got me thinking.
I do not believe in permanent failure. I believe in being weak and having moments of falling...but failure. Who are we failing. Christ? O.k. let's look at this. Christ gave us bodies. Bodies are weak. They need to eat, they have emotions, they get tired, they have desires and drives...oh the list can go on. But let's move forward. Christ gave us these bodies knowing we would not be prefect. He gave us these so that we could learn to depend on Him, everyday. Every single minute of every single day. So, when we fail...we feel like crap...and we can't get up...and so we reach...we reach for the hand of Christ and he lifts us up. He lifts us up and sends us on our way, there the next time we fall. So, falling is a moment when we get to be in a position where we need Christ more than before...and so Christ has what he wants...and we are better for it. Falling isn't failure to Christ...it brings us to Him. That is what He wants.
There is no permanent failure, because failure in and off itself is success...if and when we reach for the Hand of Christ.
Oh I have to say one thing. That bad thing I did...really wasn't bad. So weird. the other party totally over reacted and I believed him when he told me I had done something terrible...But then it really wasn't. He even knows that now...says he was just mad in the moment. I won't give more details because well it just doesn't matter. I did learn to stay calm and check things out before I believe and angry person.
Summer is here! Hope to see you all soon. need lunches and lots of them soon.
