There once was a story I heard. Of people who place offenses against them into a bag, and although for a time they say that they have forgiven, when a similar offense is made, the rocks return and the new offense becomes just another addition to the pile they have kept. Even if the offense is small compared to past offenses, it seems so much bigger once added to the pile.
I have thought much about this and wondered what that bag of rocks must feel like. Ok, let me explain. When someone hurts you, especially when their behavior continues over and over again. Often those emotions get placed into a bag, figuratively speaking. When that person is seen the weight of the rocks are felt. What does that feel like? Well, to me it feels like an instant knot in your stomach, or a desire to avoid contact, or just a simple look away. The feelings of those "rocks" weigh heavy.
How many of us have rocks that we carry for ourselves. How many of us when we wake up in the morning look at ourselves and feel of our past mistakes, over and over again. I do.
How many of us have rocks that we carry for others? I do.
But, my husband. Nope. I am not sure how he does it. But he never carries rocks. This doesn't mean that he doesn't remember what was done, but his behavior and his treatment of others is never based on what they have done. It is based on who they are, children of God.
I have felt this from him. He has amazed me over and over again. I have struggles. Struggles and behaviors that repeat themselves. Behaviors and struggles that seems like they will never go away. Each time I struggle with the same thing. Each time I behave in a way I have so many times, I feel those rocks of my past weighing heavy on my back. I see myself as that bag of rocks. But my husband. He never does. He sees who I am. He sees who I can be, and he never demonstrates remembrance of my past mistakes. His words to me are often, "I wish you could see you the way I see you" That amazes me.
Can we truly see others as who they are, if we have rocks in a bag that we carry around with us?
Christ knows us. He knows whether or not we will ultimately choose good or evil. He knows what our actions will be and how many times we will make the same mistake over and over again. He also knows are hearts. He knows not only what our actions will be, but what our true natures are. And yet, he continues to accept us. He continues to trust us. To allow us to have experiences after experiences. He continues to accept and love us and never treats us as a bag of past rocks. And he has all the knowledge to judge. WE DO NOT!
I know that I have carried rocks for others. I have some that when I see I am uncomfortable. I have some that when they call or come to visit, it is most difficult for me to let them in again. Why? I have those rocks. Those rocks of judgement. How can we ever claim to have the right to reject someone who comes to us asking for forgiveness and another chance? What gives us that right? Well, no one. We don't have the right. We are not Christ...and we are commanded to not judge.
No one is a better example to me of this then my husband. Never does he remind me that I have done this before. Never does he reject anyone who comes to him. What a blessing I have to have him in my life. A small example of Christ and his love for us.
"forgive them, for they know not what they do" Christ
